a return.

There is nothing like the immersive feeling of that soft, squishy rectangle of paradise.

One foot steps on and it is like coming home.

The feeling of the warmth beneath my feet as I fold forward, the expansive feeling of a backbend and then freedom that rolls in as I twist. The feeling of sweat pouring off my shoulders as I settle in for savasana at the end of class. I have been missing my mat.

My practice has been very sporadic these last several months. Life got big and I allowed the bigness to invade my practice. I am not sorry. The bigness that called me forth looked more like being present and showing up fully for the people I love the most, than asana on my mat. Sometimes we have to be willing to let our practice take on different shapes and sizes and even celebrate those moments that our past work on the mat, gives us strength for life off that mat. And yet, what I know to be true is that every minute I spend on my mat, in my inner landscape, the better equipped I am to meet both the big and the small moments of life.

I am certain that I need my practice on the mat as an anchor, now more than ever. The long, soft exhales move my attention into the moment - even when my mind wants to drag me around its corners of agitation and fear. Getting out of my head and into my body is this lovely reprieve from worrying about what may never happen, feeling angst over what did happen and the excruciatingly endless debates with myself.

So each day, I try to find a class I can sneak into or at least find 10 minutes I can sit quietly and turn inward for a few breaths. My yoga may be a walk outside or a short stretch sesh in my kitchen. Sometimes I just think about doing yoga - how I feel as I climb the stairs to the studio, how I feel practicing surrounded by tons of others breathing and moving together and even, how I feel after I practice. I love just thinking about all of it.

A recent class I took left me feeling so open-hearted and uplifted. I know it sounds funny, but even remembering that class, brings me into an elevated state where I can access my inner resources as I navigate the vast array of my ever-changing emotions.

In case you are wondering - if you are in my class, I am with you as you practice. I am soaking up your breath and movement. And, even as I am teaching and offering hands on assists, I am in the pose, the moment, the breath with you. I am feeling what it is like to be in the flow with students. Your yoga practice inspires me, just by being in the studio with you.

But as I sink into Autumn, I will actually be in the studio practicing with you. I will be on my mat next to you, breathing and moving with you. Let’s practice together and help each other have more moments of profound presence.

Thank you for returning to your practice even when it isn’t easy. That act makes energy - the energy of relentless determination and as you return, you help others return. Pretty soon we will all be back together, on the mat, at home with ourselves and next to one another 💛.

Big Love,
Tammy